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People watching is an entertaining pursuit in my part of Sydney. I love the diversity of shapes, sizes, fashions, ethnicities, tats and bodily accoutrements that it reveals. I guess outward appearances reveal how people want to be perceived although sometimes I am not sure whether those with the most striking look are intending to draw attention to themselves or create a facade to hide behind. Either way it is observation of their behaviours that reveals most about people and two recent such observations have brought to mind a subject that I have been pondering for some time; that of the man hug.

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When I was young I don’t recall often seeing men embrace, other than in celebration of a goal. The disinhibiting effect of scoring at football seems to increase the higher the quality of football being played, I certainly didn’t receive much by way of physical congratulation when I scored my one (yes one!) goal for the Pittwater Over 35’s Grade 7 team this year. I suspect my team-mates were too shocked to know how to react. Celebrations in the Premier League on the other hand sometimes resemble some sort of weird fancy dress orgy-on-the-run.

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Anyway, back to Glebe. Whilst out for a late Sunday morning breakfast with Tracy recently a young man arrived to sit at a nearby table and was subsequently joined by what I assume to have been his parents. On his arrival the father kissed his son on the head, a genuine and endearing show of affection, indeed a beautiful moment. Tracy asked me if I kiss my son, which on reflection I had to concede that I don’t, although I do hug him when we meet and when we depart. Hugging your son is the easiest man hug, the entry level if you like.

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Whilst sat in a traffic jam recently we noticed two families on the pavement who, having spent time together, were setting off in different directions. The young sons from each family were being instructed by their fathers in how to shake hands and then to do that kind of  bump shoulders half-hug thing that seems to have become popular. Both boys were suitably embarrassed although it was not clear whether this was caused by the half-hug or the fact that they didn’t really like each other anyway and were only there in the first place on family duty.

Personally I think the half-hug shoulder bump thing is an acceptable half way house although I do like the way that young men now often seem more than happy to go for the full embrace with their good friends. I don’t know to what extent cultural differences between the stiff upper lippers of my country of origin and the more laid back lifestyle in my adopted country are behind the greater prevalence of the man hug that I now perceive. I hope that the young men of North London are now freely showing their affection for their fellow man with a full on bear hug at every opportunity, but somehow I doubt it.

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Louis Armstrong’s take on people watching convinced him that men shaking hands, saying “how do you do” were really saying “I love You”. I hope he is right, but if that is what they were really saying then wouldn’t a hug have been more appropriate? As for me, I have become comfortable with giving male friends a hug and I would encourage others to do the same. It breaks down barriers and creates a level of emotional engagement that most men would benefit from. That’s not to say that you can’t still talk about beer and football. Now, let me talk you through my goal…